7. Pick up a hobby that will provide you with a sense of accomplishment. Gardening, walking, learning a new language, baking, investing in the stock market, reading, studying classic films. The possibilities are endless, and the hours required are flexible. Just find something that gives you the opportunity to finally think about stuff outside of work and your relationships.
11. Learn how to cook. Not grilled cheese or scrambled eggs. But actual, multi-step, recipe-required meals. As annoying and tedious as cooking can be (speaking from experience here), it can also be incredibly relaxing and rewarding to know that you can throw together something really delicious for yourself.
How to enjoy your own company
14. Get yourself a really nice coffee mug, or wine glass, or even just a reusable water tumblr with a straw. Having a favorite cup that you always pull out when you wake up or come home brings a surprisingly large amount of comfort and contentment to such a small, everyday action.
24. Solidify your routines. Humans derive extreme comfort from routine, repetition, and consistency. So if you love watching the Kardashians every Sunday, always pair it with a favorite dessert. If you shower every morning before work, put your slippers right outside the door so you can slide into them on the way back into your bedroom. If you are trying to stay more up-to-date with the news, read it every morning at your desk before you begin work. Find as many opportunities as you can to work routine into your everyday life.
27. Force yourself to have downtime at night, away from any and all screens. Shut off any eye-straining, LED-type devices before bed and open a novel, turn on a podcast, download an audio book, or do anything else that gives your mind and your eyes the opportunity to calm down and relax.
Enjoying your life also means being appreciative for having that alone-time, using the advantages of being by yourself, and not allowing the thought of being on your own to stop you from living your life meaningfully.
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There are no other seats at that table. If I had to guess, Diaw handed his phone to whoever took this picture, got it back, and then politely asked that they leave him to enjoy the sunset and his meal.
Alleviating feelings of loneliness starts with finding ways to truly enjoy your own company, whether that means developing peaceful morning and evening routines, embarking on a personal project or hobby that actually really excites you, or deepening your relationship with yourself and your own self-worth. Additionally, find ways to connect with others more regularly. Reach out to an old friend and make plans. Ask that co-worker to coffee. Join a community sports team or group. Start a book club.
If you're someone who thrives on the company of others, alone time can sometimes feel impossible to truly enjoy. But being alone is a natural part of the human experience; we'll all be alone at least sometimes, whether by choice or by circumstance.
According to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., some people may be more predisposed to enjoying solitude. "Personality factors, such as a tendency toward extroversion, may surely contribute to a person's ability to feel happy when they're alone," she tells mbg. That is, people high in extroversion (one of the so-called "Big Five personality traits") may be more likely to struggle with alone time than introverts.
That said, being able to enjoy being alone is a skill that all people benefit from. All relationships inevitably come and go, and so when we attach our happiness to other people, we relinquish power over our sense of contentment to something external and temporary.
Many of us live in a culture that hyper-focuses on romantic relationships as the main and most important way to connect with others, and in that context, being single can feel like a curse wherein you're doomed to be lonely and miserable until you can find yourself a partner.
In reality, there are so many ways to enjoy connection, intimacy, care, and affection with others outside of just romantic relationships. Deep friendship, family relationships, professional and creative partnerships, and engaging with a larger community can all be sources of meaningful connection with others if we open our hearts to it.
There are also many benefits to being single that are less accessible within the context of a relationship. "When you are single, you are empowered to make your own choices and hold yourself accountable for those choices," psychoanalyst and relationship expert Babita Spinelli, L.P., previously told mbg. "You learn to forge your own way, and that elevates inner confidence and resilience."
No matter how independent you are, being alone at home will make most people feel a bit lonely at least occasionally, and it's OK to recognize these feelings. According to holistic therapist Rikki Clark McCoy, LCSW, the key is figuring out how to reframe the way you're thinking about your alone time at home.
"Living alone, especially if it's for the first time or even after a transition, can be a very emotional experience," she previously told mbg. "There may be feelings of sadness or loneliness, but living alone can also be a time of learning to love yourself."
"You're less likely to be plunged into sadness if you don't expect yourself to have a high happiness set point when you're alone," she says. "By normalizing that many people feel less happy when they're alone, you take the pressure off yourself to make yourself be happy."
"Make advance plans to fill the time in enjoyable ways," she says. "It's often wonderful to create a list filled with a blend of to-do tasks and self-care time. This approach makes solo days feel like a nourishing balance of 'must-do's' and 'want-do-to-do's.'"
Alone time becomes a lot more appealing when we associate it with getting to do things we genuinely love and want to do. For example, if you've always wanted to read more, integrate a daily reading practice into your windows of alone time. If you're a skin care lover, treat yourself to a long, luxurious, and indulgent evening skin care routine.
When you fill your time with activities that actually bring you pleasure, you transform alone time from a moment of lack that you're needing to suffer through into a moment of opportunity that you're actually excited to seize.
"Strive to see solo time as the perfect chance to enjoy catching up on self-work, meditating, or sorting through stacks of unread magazines," says Manly. "When we reframe solo time in positive ways, the body, mind, and spirit naturally begin to feel more upbeat."
While social media can help us connect with others, research shows that spending extended time on social media can actually exacerbate feelings of loneliness3 as well as lower self-esteem4. That's in part because social media often leads to unhealthy comparison, wherein we compare ourselves to what others are doing, what others have, and the social lives of others. So, try not to spend too much of your time alone scrolling through the apps, as it's likely to make you feel worse.
The surest way to feel less lonely is, in fact, to connect with others and nurture those relationships. That might mean calling up your mom more often and deepening your connection with her, or asking an old friend if they'd like to get dinner. Or, perhaps it's time for you to look into making new friends.
"It's common that loneliness peaks in the morning and at night when we don't have much going on," McCoy explains. So, focus on developing a solid morning and evening routine that helps you flow through these parts of your day with more ease.
"This can be a 10- to 15-minute activity such as meditation, prayer, stretching, or a yoga flow," she says. "Getting dressed can also boost your mood and help create a positive head space to tackle the day."
"Get outside for a bit of sunshine and exercise," she says. "Even if you take a short walk, research shows that there are plenty of mood-boosting benefits when we walk, soak up a bit of nature, or simply enjoy the sun's rays poking through the clouds."
If this isn't ringing true for you, start there. Maybe it's about learning how to build confidence in yourself. Maybe it's about releasing people-pleasing behavior. Maybe it's about releasing perfectionist tendencies that lead to self-hatred. Maybe it's about incorporating more positive affirmations into your life.
Mancao offers a thought-provoking way to begin to practice this self-validation: "The next time you are seeking validation from someone else, ask yourself, 'What is it that I would like to hear from this person?' Then practice saying those words to yourself."
People can find deep, authentic happiness in their solitude. While we do need interpersonal connection in our lives in some form, it's very much possible to enjoy and even thrive living life as an independent individual rather than in a romantic partnership or living with others.
This idea of any real independence is overrated if you're supposedly getting your independent woman on in a room full of strangers, but constantly craving some sort of digital connection with people you forget exist unless they update their status. I have a friend who every once in a while, whether we're making travel plans for the summer or talking about a reiki convention we'd like to attend, feels the need to remind everyone that she has no issue doing things by herself. 2ff7e9595c